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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23446720">Please say it again</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothbyleth/pseuds/gothbyleth'>gothbyleth</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crying, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, M/M, Post-Time Skip, Sylvain: haha i dont do crying, me: im about to ruin this mans whole career, no beta we die like Glenn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 13:48:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,069</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23446720</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gothbyleth/pseuds/gothbyleth</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>“There was a time I would have died for you.” </p>
</blockquote>Sylvain doesn't dare follow his own heart.
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Please say it again</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>HELLO i began writing this from scratch 2 hours ago from a random prompt and here we are!! I hope this doesn't become a trend with my fics, as my previous one came to be in the same fashion lmao. My lazy eye has made me seen double while writing BUT I REALLY WANTED TO FINISH IT. however, due to said lazy eye I struggle to beta read so hopefully it's bearable!!</p><p>My twitter is @ gothbyleth, where I'm always ready to cry about Dimivain emotions. </p><p>I hope this will be enjoyable to read! Enjoy! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sylvain sat bundled up near the fireplace in Dimitri’s quarters with a book in his lap, flipping the pages absentmindedly without really taking in anything of what was written. The winds outside howled, hitting against the window occasionally with force that had nearly made him jump the first hour of reading. </p><p>With the blizzard in Fhirdiad that had yet to die down, most duties had been postponed to the day after. Fine by Sylvain, for now he could make sure the new king wouldn’t overwork himself for once.</p><p>He glanced to his side, as he’s done many times this evening, making sure his friend wasn’t overdoing his paperwork.</p><p>Friend, Sylvain thought, but was that all they were? It was what they described their relationship as, and it made sense. Friends since childhood, remaining close to this day.</p><p>Sylvain was aware of the way Dimitri looked at him however, which wasn’t hard as his childhood friend made no attempts to hide it. Even worse, Sylvain was pretty sure everyone else had seen the smiles he always gave in return. Not to mention evenings like these in Dimitri’s quarters, chatting or attending to their individual tasks in comfortable silence, holding each other those days his friend’s voices became much too loud and overwhelming. More and more often did they hold each other anyway, even when everything was fine. Dimitri’s hand had sought out Sylvain’s, but he had yet to take it, scared to close the distance he’s kept up so far.</p><p>Felix had pointed out his cowardice many times.</p><p>“He’s practically boring holes into you with the way he’s staring, it’s pathetic. You love him too, so why aren’t you doing anything?”</p><p>Sylvain had only laughed hollowly that time, even though there was nothing funny about it.</p><p>“His highness shouldn’t go for the first best option that presents itself. He deserves so much more than my sorry ass could ever hope to give.”</p><p>Felix only blew up from that. Not that Sylvain had expected anything else, though he did tune out whatever colorful swears his friend still had left after a while.</p><p>Sylvain understood why it drove Felix mad, but he couldn’t just allow himself to believe that Dimitri could ever be happy with him. As much as his own heart longed for his friend’s love, it was better like this. He could never bear ruining what they have, it was too terrifying to think about. Sylvain would never begrudge Dimitri for eventually wanting better, but he was also very much aware of how it would crush him when it happened.</p><p>Sylvain finally put aside his book, having given up on focusing on it with his cruel worries taking over his mind. Instead, he looked to his side properly to find Dimitri looking at him. The king had evidently not expected Sylvain to notice, and he nearly jumped. “Cute”, Sylvain allowed himself to think.</p><p>“Like what you’re seeing, your highness?” Sylvain said, his tone somewhat hollow lacking its usual cheer. He’d try harder, but his friend always had a certain knack to see right through his masks.</p><p>“Dimitri, and of course Sylvain. I was just wondering…”</p><p>“Wondering…?”</p><p>“Are you feeling alright?”</p><p>Dimitri, as always, made sure not to try and pry, but Sylvain didn’t feel like keeping up appearances tonight. Not that he really did around the other nowadays.<br/>
Instead his faux cheer vanished instantly, his lips instead forming a tired half smile. He stretched his arms dramatically before leaning back on the couch, not really bothering to find a more comfortable position.</p><p>“Just tired is all. What about you?”</p><p>“Me?” Dimitri replied, somewhat confused.</p><p>“Yes, you.” Sylvain smiled. “Didn’t think the overworker look up from his paperwork for another while. Do you need any help with it?”</p><p>“Oh… no, I just couldn’t focus very well.”</p><p>Sylvain frowned a little, seating himself closer to Dimitri and placing his arm around his shoulders. “Are you getting overwhelmed?”</p><p>“Oh, not at all, don’t worry.” Dimitri laughed softly. It made Sylvain relax somewhat, though he couldn’t resist moving his fingers in gentle circles against Dimitri’s shoulder. The king hummed quietly, his head resting carefully against Sylvain’s.</p><p>They sat in content silence for a moment, </p><p>When Dimitri finally spoke up, his voice was quiet. “I’ve just been thinking a lot.”</p><p>“About what?” Sylvain replied softly, adjusting his head more comfortably against Dimitri’s shoulder. His fingers still moved in gentle circles against the other, careful and soothing as he waited for the other to collect his thoughts. It took several minutes before Dimitri finally resumed speaking.</p><p>“There was a time I would have died for you.”</p><p>Sylvain’s movements stilled and he lifted his gaze up at the other with a frown. He quickly examined Dimitri’s face for any hint of jest. “What are yo-”</p><p>“Please, let me explain. I’ll try to make sense.” Dimitri interrupted, smiling somewhat sadly. It only worried Sylvain further, but he kept quiet. He didn’t question the arm that slowly wrapped around Sylvain’s back.</p><p>“During the war, I had all but accepted that I would either not live to see through it’s conclusion, or perish my by own hand once my goal had been achieved. After all, I had only survived that long through my resolve to end Edelgard by my own hands. Though you already know that.”</p><p>Sylvain could only nod as he listened, watching as his friend’s expression grew somewhat somber. Without really thinking his free hand touched Dimitri’s cheek, thumbs trailing softly underneath his eyepatch in an attempt to soothe and ground him somewhat. It seemed to work, Dimitri exhaling softly and leaning into the touch as he continued.</p><p>“Revenge only keeps you going for so long however. As much as I claimed to strive only for that one goal, I also longed to secure a future for my loved ones. I pushed you all away in the most cruel way, but I never stopped fighting for any of you.” </p><p>Dimitri’s eyes trailed to Sylvain.</p><p>“Especially you.”</p><p>Sylvain had barely noticed his frown had faded until it came back in full force. He could barely respond at first, too worried about where this was going. Still, his eyes meet Dimitri’s.</p><p>“... me?”</p><p>Dimitri’s eyes softened somewhat. “Yes.”</p><p>It was hard to sit still now, his nerves tingling and nearly making him shake, but Sylvain willed himself to sit still despite that. It made him feel more anxious, and that Dimitri didn’t continue speaking didn’t help either. His eyes trailed down a little, in an attempt to calm himself somewhat.</p><p>“Why?” he finally asked. He nearly cursed himself for sounding so weak.</p><p>“You… have always been important to me, Sylvain. Ever since we were children.”</p><p>Dimitri’s expression remained soft, his voice equally so.</p><p>“Taking upon too many enemies during our fights back then wasn’t safe, and I knew that as much as everyone else. But I would never have forgiven myself had I allowed anyone to hurt you. I…” he paused. Sylvain listened, tongue completely tied.</p><p>“I felt that if I, despite everything, would perish before achieving my goal, I wanted it to be from protecting you.”</p><p>Sylvain couldn’t hide the bewilderment on his face as he opened his mouth to speak, but Dimitri cut him off again, his gaze suddenly more determined.</p><p>“I’m nearly there. You see, I’ve been thinking a lot about my conviction back then ever since the war was won.” he continued. His arm squeezed around Sylvain carefully as he fought to find the words.</p><p>“I realize now that we finally have what we fought so hard for that I have to stay strong. I have to keep walking, no matter how much my voices try to convince me that I don’t deserve it. I owe it, to everyone I’ve ever crossed paths with, to build a kingdom worth living in. Therefore…”</p><p>As Sylvain looked up, Dimitri’s face was closer.</p><p>“No matter what happens, I will live. I will live and rebuild Fódlan. For everyone who’s lost their lives, for everyone who’s still with us. But also for you, Sylvain. I have never been able to forgive myself for not doing so before, during our childhood but also during the academy.”</p><p>A inhale was all Dimitri could muster before finishing. “I love you Sylvain. And I promise you that I will keep you safe, and that I will live for you.”</p><p>Silence filled the room, and Sylvain could only stare, utterly dumbstruck. If he didn’t know better, he almost could have sworn that he saw little Dimitri again. The one free from worries before the tragedy and war, the one who cried when he broke things all too easily, chasing after Sylvain with bright, blue eyes filled with so much naive joy. It was near dizzying and he was nearly shocked that he could still breathe.</p><p>“I’m not worth it.” Sylvain finally gasped, surprised that he could speak at all. He slowly began to tremble though, and began to pull away before Dimitri noticed. The king held onto him though, concern obvious on his face.</p><p>“Sylvain, you know that isn’t true.” </p><p>Dimitri’s hold on Sylvain was firm, but by no means rough. Sylvain could have escaped if he wanted to, he knew Dimitri wouldn’t fight him for it. </p><p>And yet he remained, his trembling growing more and more fierce as he tried to argue. He wanted to tell Dimitri that he was a lost cause, that he shouldn’t live for someone like him, that he’d grow sick of him eventually and Sylvain would never heal from that…</p><p>“Dima, I-”</p><p>His vision only blurred however, heavy tears rolling down his cheeks unlike ever before. His breath hitched when the realization hit him, making him shudder.</p><p>“Sylvain…” </p><p>He tried to speak, but Sylvain’s voice failed him, as did his composure. Whatever walls he’d kept up, whatever he had built to keep the tears in, fell down with a crash in an instant. The tears just kept falling, and he outright sobbed.</p><p>Dimitri’s heart broke at the sight, his arms pulling Sylvain closer in a near crushing embrace. Sylvain couldn’t protest, his sobs overwhelming all his senses. His head was spinning, so much that he barely registered that Dimitri was speaking to him, holding him close in a steady, protective embrace Sylvain clinged onto as if it’d be gone forever if he let go.</p><p>So long had it been since Miklan threw him down the well, he had nearly forgotten how it felt to cry.</p><p>It struck Sylvain then, in a sudden moment of clarity, just how much he loved Dimitri. </p><p>And somehow, he knew that he couldn’t deny what he longed for anymore.</p><p>Dimitri soon pulled himself away when Sylvain’s sobs grew calmer and quieter, just enough to look at him. Sylvain tried to hide his face against the other’s shoulder again.</p><p>“Sylvain, please look at me.” he pleaded, his hands moving to cup the other’s face. When their eyes met, Dimitri looked at him with such a soft face it made Sylvain’s heart ache. “You are worth it. I don’t know what I would do without you, and you deserve being loved. You always have...”<br/>
Sylvain sniffled a little hearing that. How could Dimitri, who’s been through so much and seen so many horrors, still be so earnest, so naive and so, so sweet? </p><p>Sylvain has never been immune to it. Not then, not now.</p><p>“Dima… again…” Sylvain whispers, voice hoarse and weak.</p><p>Dimitri blinked, gaze gentle but hopeful. “What?” </p><p>“Say it again… that you...” </p><p>Sylvain couldn’t finish, but Dimitri spoke anyway. </p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Sylvain’s breath stuttered, only noticing now how furiously his heart’s been beating. “Again…”</p><p>“I love you…”</p><p>The awe and wonder in Dimitri’s voice did not escape Sylvain’s notice, but he didn’t comment on it, Instead, his eyes closed when the king’s lips began kissing his tears away. He couldn’t help but wrap his arms Dimitri more firmly, allowing him to shower him in affection Sylvain’s never felt worthy of. Small ‘I love you’s’ escaped Dimitri’s lips between the kisses, barely audible whispers both calming and electrifying at once.</p><p>Sylvain knew they’d have to talk this through properly once he regained his own composure, and that there was a lot to unpack. However, that’d be later.</p><p>For now, he allowed himself to indulge in the affection of Dimitri, his childhood friend, king of Fódlan, and the man he has loved his entire, sorry life.</p>
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